Far From Normal
by CannibalDuckWithAnAxe4
Summary: Clary Fray was always in a tight relationship with normal. Though throughout the course of a month, she seems to be slipping farther and farther away from it as lives are lost, trust is unbound and one certain golden-haired boy comes back into her life for the second time. Will she re-discover normal? Or keep chasing after it for the rest of her life?
1. Prologue

**Hey everyone! So I know that I have this thing that I do not want to make any TMI fanfics, but this has been nagging at my brain ever since I went on vacation…random, I know, but apparently that was my inspiration... so please read and review! Oh, also, me and procrastination are best friends for life, so just know that I might update in a week, a month, a year (probably not a year…but you know, crap happens) or even a day. **

**Also, please review telling me if this is good or not. I suggest constructive critisism if you are going to tell me it isn't adequate!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments, no matter how much I pray each night…**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Prologue**

They thought she was crazy.

Really, anyone was who thought standing in the middle of the ocean in the dead of winter was a good idea.

They watched.

She chose to ignore the persistent eyes that gazed her way. Really, all she _could _focus on was the cold, dark, merciless water expanding before her.

They stared.

She treaded through the water, now waist deep. Her emerald gown that once radiated beauty drooped down on her frame. Another thing destroyed. Another thing destroyed at her hand.

They listened.

She echoed the sobs of the sea. A heart wrenching, broken sound the carried out over the water, until they were absorbed, deteriorated, gone. The sea that swallowed them up. The end.

She hated the position she had put herself in. All she wanted to do now was curl under the covers and cry. Cry for all of those that passed before her, for everyone that had lost someone before them, for everyone who had been abused, neglected, handed the hard side of life. But it was hard to turn back now.

They waited.

She couldn't stand to be near anyone anymore. She was broken. Nothing could deter her from it.

She was only inches from the location that would sink her head under. It would all be over. No more tears, no more heart break. It sounded enticing.

They anticipated.

She wasn't crazy. At least that wasn't what she told herself. She just wasn't that friendly with normal. She felt different. Different than she used to be. The once lively, happy, carefree girl she used to know was replaced by…nothing. She was empty. Cracked. Beyond repair.

Maybe that was the definition for crazy.

Crazy [Krey-_zee_] mentally deranged; unsound.

After all these years trying to edge herself closer to normal, she realized she never was, nor ever would be normal. It was too late for that. Normal ran for the hills a long time ago.

They thought she was crazy.

So she went under.

_**A broken heart,**_

_**Divided into two.**_

_**That's all that keeps **_

_**Me from you.**_

* * *

**Hope you read and enjoyed!**

**I will try for longer chapters in the future! **

**Stay ninja!**

**XOXO, **

**Gossip Girl (just kidding! It's CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4...duhhh)**


	2. Chapter 1- Comfort

**Sooo, I didn't get too many reviews last chapter. As to be expected, since it's new and this is only the second chapter up. But I saw I got 49 views on it since yesterday, and I would just like to say that is you read AND review, I will send a unicorn to your house! YAY! Yes, I breed unicorns…..no judging!:D **

**Thanks to DeUtvalda, she is awesome and she was the first to review!**

**Thanks to Physalie00 for also reviewing!**

**And thanks to those who favourited or followed my story!**

**Hope ya enjoy chapter 1!**

I had always been the quiet girl.

Always.

Whenever the teachers called on me in school, I would shrug and they would move on, disappointed. As they should be. I was disappointed in myself.

I didn't _want _to be anti-social. I just didn't know how to break free from the chains that held me so dear to it. Even at home, I was quiet. Since it was just me in the building, I really had no reason to talk.

I was never the loud, outgoing, opinionated girl everyone wanted me to be. So I shouldn't have been surprised that I didn't do anything about it now.

I was standing in the middle of a New York street (I couldn't tell you which one) in the pouring rain at 5:00 AM. Why, you might ask?

Because my best friend in the whole universe was dead.

Dead. As in to never show his eyes to the world ever again.

All because of a drunk driver.

I shouldn't of really been shocked, I mean, this happened to me all the time.

I was always abandoned.

_*Flashback*_

"_Mommy, are we there yet?" An eight year old girl with bright tomato red hair asked eagerly._

"_Clarissa, I just told you five minutes ago, we'll be there shortly." Jocelyn Fray told her daughter with a sigh. _

"_How shortly is shortly?" She asked curiously. _

"_We'll be there soon, sweetheart." Clary's dad, Luke, replied. _

_Clary sighed and stared out the window. She opened it and felt the cool Carolina breeze touch her face. _

_They were going to South Carolina for her mom's art exhibition. Only for a week, so Clary would have the rest of the summer to hang out with her best friends: Simon and Isabelle. _

"_What is that up there?" Luke questioned to Jocelyn, careful to keep quiet as to not pike Clary's interest. _

"_It looks like people. I think they want something, Luke. Slow down." She said. She always was one to help others._

"_Mommy? What's going on?"_

"_Hey. Hey! Give us your money." A guy that looked like he could be in a gang walked towards them. He had a scraggly white beard, a torn leather jacket and a bandana to match. He pulled out a gun, and-_

"_Drive!" Jocelyn shouted, and Luke sped off. _

_Apparently, the old Volkswagen wasn't fast enough for the bullet, because the next Clary knew, the only parents she had ever known were shot cleanly through the head. It was amazing how precise the man could shoot. Maybe he was in a gang after all. _

_But Clary didn't care about that. _

"_MOMMY! DA-" She was cut off the Volkswagen turning off into a ditch. As it tumbled down the steep incline beside the highway with not even one witness on it to help, she thought only one thing. _

_Death might be comforting after all._

_*End of Flashback*_

From that point on in my life, I had never been afraid of death. I was prepared to die by that highway. Whether it be from my injuries or from the man who took my parent's life. I didn't get the chance however, because someone who happened to be driving back from their own vacation saw the car in the ditch and called 911.

Simon wasn't that lucky.

I had listened in on one of the police officer's conversations at some point in the night that a drunk driver swerved into his lane and Simon died on impact.

The bastard. He killed my friend.

If I thought I would be in hysterics when this finally processed in my mind, then I couldn't tell you what Isabelle was feeling.

_She _was the one in hysterics.

The previous year, Simon had finally mustered up the courage to ask her on a date.

To this day, they were still dating and neither of them were ever happier.

Until this happened. I couldn't necessarily comfort her, since I felt like I was going to pass out myself and I was in no state to talk. I never really was.

I think we all need comforting in this world. We all need someone.

As for me, I was all alone in this world. I just had to face the facts.

No one knew that in my head, I was desperately trying to connect with someone, anyone.

I needed someone to comfort me.

_**Comfort in my mind,**_

_**Comfort in my soul.**_

_**Eats away at my heart**_

_**Until it's just an empty hole. **_

**Yaay! Hope you enjoyed that….It might be bad but I just wanted to give you something because I don't know when I'll have this much free time next…:/ **

**Keep being ninja everyone! **

**XOXO,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


	3. Chapter 2- Lost

**Hii! Wow! Two updates in a day?! You all must think that I have no social life. And I am here to tell you…that that is completely true. **

**Anyhoo, so I tried Izzy's POV somewhere in this chapter, so please review telling me if it's good, or if I should stick with just Clary****J **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments…please don't make me say it again! It hurts me!**

**Clary's POV**

I didn't go back to my house that night. It was too hard to. The bare rooms that showed no colour or emotion seemed to close in on me. I felt claustrophobic.

I was currently sitting on one of the cold, shapeless plastic chairs in the hospital. They were the only things that showed any colour.

I stared blankly at the walls for a few hours, until finally someone came in through the doors.

I was expecting it to be one of the nurses, coming to work her morning rounds. But it was Isabelle.

She looked terrible.

Her usual flawless skin was now caked with smeared makeup. Tear stains ran down the length of her shirt and mud clung to her designer jeans, probably on account of her falling on the grass when she ran for Simon.

_Simon. _

They were currently trying to use a defibralator to bring him back to life. I knew better, however. I knew they would never reach him. They were too late. My Simon was gone.

"Cl-Cl-Clary?" Izzy questioned between sniffles. " Do you think he'll be alright?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I didn't want to lie to her, because that would be unfair to the both of us. But I didn't want to tell her she'll never hear the sound of his voice again. That seemed cruel.

"I'm don't know, Izzy. I really do not know."

**Izzy's POV**

I was dying inside. Being without him was like breathing without air. It hurt my heart. It hurt me everywhere.

I would never hear his laugh again. I would never feel his lips against mine, I would never cling to his arm as we strolled in Central Park in autumn. Our favourite time of year.

But now it was my least.

For that was the season where change occurred. Everything started to die. The leaves fell off their branches, until only a bare, spiney tree was left. It was the time of year when the flowers started to lose their petals, where animals hibernated.

When I lost Simon.

I probably looked like a mess right now. Usually I would care. Usually I would run to the nearest exit and wouldn't come back until I had touched up my makeup, or smoothed down my clothes. But nothing seemed important now.

Except for Simon.

As I entered the hospital, I noticed Clary sitting on an overly bright orange chair.

"Cl-Cl-Clary?" I hated how weak I sounded. Simon would want me to be strong, like I usually was. "Do you think he'll be alright?" I dreaded the answer.

"I don't know, Izzy. I really do not know."

Like that helped me any. I needed answers. I needed them _now_.

"Well, when will you know?" I quipped. Did I sound as rude as I thought? "Sorry, I-"

"I get it, it's ok." She responded with a shrug of her shoulder. "I want to know just as bad as you."

"Really? It doesn't look it to me." God, when had I become this cold? She was my best friend!

"I'm numb, Isabelle. Okay? I'm numb. I've lost my parents, a dozen foster parents, my b-" I knew what she was going to say, but didn't press it. I didn't want to hurt her further. "Now Simon. _Simon._ The one that used to trick us into coming over to his house so we could watch him play Call of Duty. The one who used to have a smart-ass remark coming at us so quick we wouldn't even have time to make a simple scowl. The one who made us bacon and fried rice in the morning." I smiled at that. I loved his bacon and fried rice. "He took care of us when we were sick, made the stupidest shadow puppets, who dragged us to Eric's poetry readings-which are terrible by the way- and taught us how to correctly perfect the art of origami. Simon. Who loved us both equally even though we both played different roles in his relationship. I'm just…I'm numb. I can't think. It sounds pathetic, but it's true."

I was back to sobbing again. Clary took me in her arms and smoothed back my hair as I cried, drenching her shirt in the process. She didn't have to say anything. Anything she could have said would have been a lie.

"Excuse me?" We both looked up simultaneously. A nurse that looked to be about Clary's height was standing in the middle of the corridor. "Are you here to see Simon Lewis?"

I jumped up. I was totally ready for her to tell me that "everything was going to be okay" and "he's alive, isn't it a miracle?" That's what I needed right now. A miracle.

"Yes! I mean, yes. We are." I replied eagerly.

My stomach started to go into knots. It was a dreadful feeling, the type that you get at the top of a rollercoaster right before you plummet to the ground.

Her face turned grim.

"I'm so sorry to tell you that-"

I couldn't bear to hear any more. I threw up right on the ground.

Clary was there for me the whole time.

**Clary's POV**

No. No, no no no. She had to be kidding. This had to be some kind of sick joke that someone was pulling on me.

But if it was, I hadn't clued in to it for a long, long time.

The nurses face was sombre. I couldn't bare to look at it any longer. That face full of pity. I didn't need any pity. So that's why when I finished getting Isabelle all cleaned up and took her back home to put her in bed, I booked it for the only place I knew I would be alone.

The church.

I never really was the church- goer type. Don't get me wrong, I believed in God and Jesus and everyone but I just never really seemed to get the chance to go. I guess being with multiple foster parents who were _definitely_ not religious didn't help all that much.

But right now, it seemed like the only place where I could be heard.

I sat down at a pew and bowed my head. It had been a while since I had prayed, but I fell into the flow of it easily.

I prayed for my parents. I prayed for Simon. I prayed for everyone that I had lost. I prayed that no more _would_ be lost.

When I was done, I quietly leaved without a word.

I never even noticed the figure that listened to me from the shadows.

_**Lost without a word.**_

_**Silent as the sea.**_

_**Shall I find your soul again? **_

_**Or shall it run free?**_

**Okeey, well please read and review!**

**Stay ninja everyone!**

**Love and axes,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


	4. Chapter 3- Gone

**Okeeeeeyyyyyy, I'm a terrible person. I had this goal to update on Sunday….and it's Tuesday. *face palm* Though I do have reasons!**

**1. I was lazy**

**2. I have no more excuses. **

**Oh, Jace will come into the story in a few chapters, so keep on reading! Though I might make him come in sooner if you, oh, I don't know, REVIEW! *hem hem* **

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: I do not own…I CAN"T SAY IT!**

**My mom: Sweet mercy, child! Say it! Say it!**

**Me: I can't! It hurts!**

**My mom: I won't buy you bacon for a month and all of the little piggies will live until Christmas!**

**Me: *GASP!* My sacred smoked bacon! Fine…I do not own The Mortal Instruments or any of the characters. All head nods of satisfaction should be directed at Cassandra Clare.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_**1 month later **_

As I walked down the chilled streets of New York, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely. Strangers with content expressions whisked passed me without even a second glance. On the opposite side of the street a couple with two children drank hot chocolate from the nearby café. A dark skinned woman laughed at her friend's comment as they walked past a little boy holding hands with what looked to be his younger sister. They had the same brown hair.

As I pondered the possibility that maybe I was the only soul in all of New York to not have anyone, not even a guardian, I noticed a tall man holding hands with someone who looked oddly familiar. I slowly swerved myself around a mass of ninth graders coming out of the library, keeping tabs on the strange couple the whole time.

They finally stopped at a crosswalk and I caught up with them just in time. I was so close I was practically breathing down the neck of a boy with midnight black hair.

I would know him anywhere.

"Alec." I breathed.

Alec swung himself around, nearly knocking me to the ground in his astonishment.

"Who-?" He stopped. "Clary? What? How? I thought you went with Isabelle-"

"What do you mean went with Izzy?" I cut him off. "I haven't seen her since Simon." I added numbly.

"Clary, it's so good to see your face again." He enveloped me in a tight hug.

"Alec. Alec! I can't breathe!" I yelled, giggling in his arms.

"Sorry, Clare."

"What happened to Isabelle?" I asked, now without humour. "Is she-" I started to panic.

"No, no, no! She left. The night he…it happened. Climbed out the window in the night." He said with a strangled voice. He looked intently at his shoes, trying to hide his tears. "She left a note though. Here." He handed me a crumpled piece of paper that looked like it had been sent through a Civil War. "I keep it with me. For safe keeping, I guess." He managed a half smile.

I began to read.

_Dear Mom, Dad, Alec and Max,_

_I leave this note in your hands to inform you that I am leaving. I can't take it. Seeing you every day reminds me too much of Simon. Being in New York just reminds me of all of the good times I had with him. And though that might be a good thing to some, I don't take it that way. It's too overwhelming. Everywhere I go I see his face. _

_It doesn't help the pain. It will never help me heal. _

_So I am leaving because I think I should try to live again. Without the stab to my stomach every time I see something we shared. This last month has been too hard on me. _

_Don't try to look for me._

_Love always,_

_Izzy xoxo _

I stare in awe at the tiny piece of paper in front of me, its edges flapping in the breeze.

That's it, then. That was all she dare say before walking out of our lives forever.

I didn't notice I was crying until a colossal teardrop landed on Izzy's signature.

"I can't believe it." I whispered. "How could she?" I started to raise my voice audibly, exasperated. "I'm just as broken as her. And maybe even then some."

"Clary-"

"Do not 'Clary' me! I can't believe she would just leave! Where's my name on this note, huh? Where did she acknowledge that maybe all of us are hurting?" I was in full tears now, screaming at someone who didn't deserve it.

Alec didn't speak. Just ducked his head and looked the other way.

"Clary, as I presume is your name," The man Alec had been walking with spoke softly to me, "She didn't mean for this to happen."

"How the hell did she not mean for it happen?" I replied through gritted teeth.

"Just give her time. She obviously isn't ready to say goodbye to you yet."

"How do you know?" I looked up through my thick eyelashes. If he really thought he knew Izzy better than me, he was dead wrong. Though, he did seem to be in a relationship with Alec, so maybe he had had the chance to talk with her before. Or maybe he was just a stalker.

"She is your friend, correct?" He asked gently.

"My only." _Other than Simon. _

"Then give her time. She'll come." He smiled. They stared to walk away. I decided that maybe he wasn't so bad after all, maybe I could give him a chance. Anyway, anyone who dressed that fashionably definitely couldn't be as lowly as a stalker.

"Hey, I didn't quite catch your name." I called after him. His jaw dropped.

"Why, I am the one and only Magnus Bane, of course! Everyone knows me! You're an odd one, Clary."

That I am.

_**Close my eyes,**_

_**Slip away.**_

_**Before I may blink,**_

_**Nothing will stay.**_

_**Ominous breathing,**_

_**Fills the space.**_

_**Covers up the cracks,**_

_**To take your place.**_

_**It's heaving form**_

_**Lay next to my heart.**_

_**Crusting over the aperture**_

_**That sets me apart.**_

_**Close your eyes,**_

_**Let your mind slip away.**_

_**If no one else comes,**_

_**I will stay. **_

* * *

**Yerrrrrp…..not much action. But intense drama….I should of put this story as a drama. Oh well, it won't stay drama for long. ahaha, I said intense...didn't I? Was it intense? Possibly. Pleeeassse review my lovely lovely people who are awesome ninjas! **

**That's pretty much it…next update….uhhhhhhhhrrrrrrmmmmm will be…urrrrmmmmm….**

**Soon.**

**Adios!**

**Love and Axes,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


	5. Chapter 4-Time Slows

**Disclaimer: I will never ever own The Mortal Instruments or any of the characters.*Tear***

* * *

It had been 23 hours and 57 minutes since I found out that Izzy was gone.

23 hours and 58 minutes.

23 hours and 59 minutes.

A full day.

I kept staring at the clock, willing it with my mind to stop. Because no matter how deep I dug myself in this mess I called a life, time seemed to never stop. It just kept on ticking.

Tick tock, tick tock.

I had tried calling her once, and someone _did _pick up. It just wasn't the someone I wanted.

I remember my heart leaping out of my chest as the other end of the line clicked on. I was sure it would be her. I was sure that she would answer, begging for my forgiveness. Giving me the best excuse she could think of. I would believe it, too.

But it was only Izzy's mom. She had left her phone at home. Very un-Izzy like.

So from that point on, I just sat on my bed, staring at my alarm clock, it's green digits flashing with every waking minute.

I couldn't keep doing this. Wishing for the inevitable. I had to go somewhere. Anywhere.

I picked up the keys to my retro 1970 punch buggy and ran out of the apartment, leaving the door unlocked in my rush. No one would want any of my stuff, anyways.

After hopping in the car and turning on the ignition, I screeched out of my ratty apartment's parking lot, nearly scraping someone's Corvette in the process.

I didn't know where I was going until I was already there. My parent's grave site.

I hadn't been here in almost a year, but I had felt the familiar pull drawing me almost every night. I sat with them. My parents. Talked to them about what was going on with my life. I knew they couldn't hear me, but I felt better talking to them than anyone else at the moment.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, letting the tears fall onto the dirt. Storm clouds started to brew in the sky, so I took them as my cue to leave.

Driving home through the torrential down pour was worse than usual. With my face masked in tear, I could barely see a thing on a sunny day, let alone a stormy one.

I had to be 100 times more perceptive than I usually was.

That was how I spotted it. A figure barely noticeable through the blur of rain drops. But I saw them none the less.

They were just standing in the middle of the local park, right under the open sky. Usually, I wouldn't give strangers a ride, but my life couldn't get any worse at the moment, so I pulled over.

I ran out of the rain into the massive park. They were about 100 yards away now. Standing under a tree. Something seemed to be dangling from the tree. A rope, maybe. That's when it clicked.

"NO!" I screamed at the person, but I doubted they could hear me. I started to sprint, not caring if I slipped. Flailing my arms, I knocked the person over before they could rope the noose around their neck. They flew to the ground, and if I wasn't in this given situation, I'd be quite impressed with myself. My target seemed to have been a six foot male. I didn't know I could be that strong.

I dropped to the ground, whipping my phone out of my jean's back pocket in the process. I called 911, keeping my eyes locked on the man's face the whole time. It was pretty hard to distinguish, his face was all bruised and bloodied.

The ambulance came and brought him to the hospital. I stayed with him until they called him in for surgery. Apparently he had internal bleeding from a blow to the head. He must have been in some deep shit.

When he came out, I rushed to see him. As I closed the door with a bang from my eagerness, I saw one beautiful golden eye open.

I would know those eyes anywhere.

_Jace. _

**_Time slows_**

**_In this life_**

**_I wait, I wait_**

**_It will never suffice._**

**_Time slows._**

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Review!**

**Love and Axes,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


	6. Chapter 5- Where Do Souls Go?

**So, soon= now apparently! Here's your chapter, guys!**

**I just want to say thank you so much for all of your reviews and follows and favourites. It means so much to me because I really don't think I'm very good at writing like this, I usually like happy stuff, but I'm trying something new, you know? **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own The Mortal Instruments because if I did I would be an extreme, extreme ninja. Not just an extreme ninja. **

* * *

_When he came out, I rushed to see him. As I closed the door with a bang from my eagerness, I saw one beautiful golden eye open._

_I would know those eyes anywhere._

_Jace._

Shocked to mere discomfort, I took a step back towards the door. He had both of his eyes open now, resting on the chipped ceiling overhead.

"I told you, I do not want-" He looked over at me huddled by the doorway and stopped the never ending flow of words that bled out of his mouth. That probably took a lot of effort. I narrowed my eyes involuntarily, just as he widened his. His mouth opened as if he were about to say something, but one look at my face shut him up.

After quite some time, he spoke.

"Clary?" He asked shakily. "Is that you?" He seemed pretty unfocused because of the drugs them probably put him on, but that didn't stop him from clinging to reality.

"Damn right it is." I spat. A slow smirk made it's way up his face. Always the charismatic. Of course.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. I could practically taste the tension in the room. "Did you hear I was in town and rush over as fast as your little legs could carry you?" I gasped at that, he was always rude but never before had he made fun of my height.

"Excuse me?" I answered dryly.

"No, no that's not it." He pretended to be in deep thought while he left me hanging. I know I should have just stomped out of the room altogether, but my feet had lost the ability to walk in a linear path. "I know I'm stunningly attractive and all," that gaudy smirk was still plastered on his oh-so _charming _face, "But given out history…" He let that sentence linger in the air for a bit. A cold ice was forming once again between us, and again he was the one to create it. "So what is it, hmm? Are you sad all alone? Do you have no one? Is it because Isabelle ran away? Or because Simon's dead in the grave?" I didn't ask him how he knew that. He was supposed to be half way across the world in Idris right now. Not here. "It probably doesn't help either how your parents are gone." Tears were streaming down my face now. "Or is this a sensitive topic for you?" A sick smile replaced his usual smirk. "My parents are dead too. Well, my mother's dead, but you already knew that. My father is just dead to _me. _See all these bruises? You know who did them? Take a guess." I didn't want to answer. I didn't even want to be here anymore. But my legs were not coping with me.

"I-I…" I scrambled for words to help me through this hellish conversation. I wanted to scream at him for a series of reasons. For bringing up my parents, Simon, Izzy, for making me feel bad about his given situation. He was trying to manipulate me into feeling sorry for things that _I didn't do. _If anyone should of been apologizing, it should have been him.

"So what's the reason you're really here, _Clare_?" He said my name as it was poison. Didn't he understand that he was the one who had hurt me? Didn't he understand that I was only here because I didn't know any better and saved his sorry ass? My words once again decided to lodge themselves in my throat. "Why'd you save me anyways? Didn't you understand what I wanted to do? I'm sure you've felt that way before." I bit back a squeak. I guess he did understand.

Apparently he didn't expect a real answer, because he flopped himself back down and continued to stare at the ceiling. I was in a turmoil of anger and depression. That was it then. I had never thought that if I was going to see Jace again it would be a happy reunion, but I didn't think he was going to be so cold heartedly blunt about it.

Spinning on my heel, I walked out of the room, careful not to let my short temper get the best of me when I closed the door. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing the damage he had caused me.

Halfway to the exit, I heard someone shouting down the hall to me.

"Excuse me. Excuse me!" A plump nurse with white hair that tickled her jaw line came rushing over to me. "Did you just exit room 428?" I took a step forward and looked at the door I just barrelled out of.

"Uh, yeah, I did." I answered as kindly as possible.

"Do you know if he needs anything? More morphine? Another gauze?" She has kind brown eyes and deep creases in her skin from old age. She looked so sincere and harmless, I didn't want her having to treat someone who would definitely take advantage of that. But still, the words roll off of my tongue like they had been waiting for her to ask.

"He said he needs a lot more morphine. The pain is apparently excruciating." I knew this was a lie. He was so far under when I went in I bet he couldn't even stand. But that wasn't good enough for me. I wish he couldn't of even spoken.

"Thank you, Ms…?"

"Clary. Clary Fray." I smile. Already the anger seems to be surpassing. She just looked so sweet. I always did have a soft spot for old ladies.

"Sherley Lewis." She said, extending her hand. I did a double take. Sherley _Lewis? _As in Simon's grandma?

"Excuse me, Mrs. Lewis, but you wouldn't happen to have a grandson named Simon, would you?" Her eyes immediately became wet with tears at the mention of my best friend.

"Simon." She breathed. "Goodness, I haven't heard his name in a long, long time. Diane never did want to deal with the topic." She gave a forced little laugh. "Is he…is he here?" She hadn't heard about his death?

I knew that Simon was disowned by his family, but I didn't know it was so bad no one had even told the of the news. Way back when, the Lightwoods and the Lewis's had a bone to pick with each other. Both families were friends with my parents, and that was basically how Simon and Isabelle met. But that didn't stop their parents from fighting every time they stepped foot into our home.

_*Flashback*_

"_Isabelle!" 6 year old Clary exclaimed when she opened the oak door to her house._

"_Claryyyyy!" Isabelle yelled and ran into her arms. _

_Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood stepped into the foyer with a big smile on their face, they hadn't seen the Frays in weeks since they had spent their summer in Bora Bora. _

"_Jocelyn, Luke. It's a pleasure to see you both again." Robert Lightwood said as he stepped into the loved home. _

"_How are you, Robert?" Lucian asked as he took their coats. _

"_I'm feeling much more relaxed ever since that vacation, plus, sales have been going through the roof these last few weeks." Robert Lightwood worked at a car dealership while his wife, Maryse, worked as a bank teller._

"_Yes, it's true. I've never seen him this carefree!" Maryse said in the voice of someone who was truly happy. _

"_Come on, Clare, let's go play!" Isabelle said, dragging Clary behind her. _

"_Where's Alec?" Clary questioned. _

"_He's had the stomach flu ever since we got back. I think it was all of the spicy sauce he ate in one meal!" She whispered. The two girls giggled._

_Everyone seemed to be in a great mood, until they stepped into the living room. _

_Seated on a plush black sofa was the Lewis'. The Lewis' and Lightwoods had never been seen together at Jocelyn and Luke's home before, and they certainly would never be seen together again._

_Maryse gasped, Robert turned murderous and Diane and Marcil Lewis twisted their faces into a look of disgust. Simon and Rebecca just stared from their spots beside Clary and their new friend Isabelle. _

"_Jocelyn!" Diane screamed. "What on Earth are _they_ doing here?" She hissed. "You said they wouldn't be coming."_

"_Because I knew you'd leave! Come on! This feud has gone on far too long." Jocelyn replied firmly with arms crossed. _

"_I don't think so." Maryse noted. " They haven't even come close to apologizing yet."_

"_I shouldn't be apologizing for someone else's mistakes." Marcil stated, looking Robert in the eye. _

"_Look, I'm sorry." Robert said. Everyone stared wide eyed at him. Maryse looked appauled, Marcil looked victorious and Diane looked very out of place. "I'm sorry that you can't seem to find your dignity and thought it wise to just steal the damn car!" _

"_Language!" Jocelyn cried._

"_It is NOT my husbands fault that you seem to misplace every check you own because you don't have a brain." She was about to say something much more vulgar, but thought it wise not to create a tiff with Jocelyn and Lucian, who wouldn't take that kind of language in their home. _

_All the while Simon, Isabelle, Clary and Rebecca were laughing at them, not understanding the true effect their friendship could cause on the fuming families._

_*End of Flashback*_

Rebecca was the smart one, she decided to end her friendship with us as fast as she could as not to disappoint her parents. When they heard of Simon and Isabelle's friendship however, they were angry, but decided to let it pass. Though later, when they found out that they were dating, the Lewis' instantly sent Simon out onto the street. They were always _very _strict with him and wouldn't let a "traitor" into their house again. He had a friend though, Jordan Kyle I think his name was, who took him in.

Isabelle had it easy. Her parent's adored her and decided that if she really loved him, she was allowed to see him but they would not attend any get-togethers.

I turned my face to one of pity, and refocused on Mrs. Lewis.

"I am so, so sorry. He isn't here."

"Do you know where he is, then?" she questioned.

"Mrs. Lewis…I'm so sorry to tell you under these conditions but…" How to tell her? "Your grandson, well…he…"

She got what I was trying to say and looked like she was about to be sick.

"He's…" She started.

"Yes." I looked down at the floor and saw her tears dropping rapidly onto the linoleum floor.

"I better get to work, then." She said quietly.

"I'm so sorry-"

"There's nothing you could have done." she said simply. "God rest with my grandson."

With that, she turned and walked down the hallway into room 428, muffling her sobs the whole way.

_**Where do our souls go,**_

_**In our time of dire need?**_

_**Hidden in sight?**_

_**Watching with heed?**_

_**Does it not understand**_

_**Of the toil and tears**_

_**What every man dreads?**_

_**What every man fears?**_

* * *

**Yes, I know Jace is a jackass, and he will stay that way for a little while…but then there will be Clace! I promise. It just might take a while. I really hope you review! It would mean the world to a special someone! (Me…)**

**Love and axes,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


	7. Chapter 6- Their Blade

**Okay, so just as I posted the author's note about me having writer's block….I got an idea. It was kind of sad actually. So I deleted the author's note. Yay!**

**Anyways, I was originally not going to make the plotline at school, but I wanted to try it out. This fanfic is a lot about experimenting for me! Also, that was the only idea I could come up with that didn't suck and I wanted to give you all something, at least.**

**Also, thanks to everyone that reviewed, followed and favourited!**

**Thank you sooooooo much to Serenity Shadowstar for the amazing ideas on the Irish mob and every other thing she suggested! You'll see that down below! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments or the characters. I wish I was that awesome. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_School._

That was the one thought that managed to be conjured up in the steady stream of thoughts that made their way through my brain. Today was going to be the first day back to the hellhole I liked to call Montgomery High. According to my teachers it was supposed to be "the best year of our adolescent lives". That was a load of crap. How could I manage a full year of sluts and jocks without my two best friends? I couldn't, that I knew for sure.

I was tempted to unplug my alarm clock and drift back into another round of fitful sleep, but knew I had to face the world sooner or later.

I lazily threw back my covers and made my way for the shower, where I managed to peel back my black tank and purple pyjama bottoms and step into the steamy shower. I didn't know if it was my Herbal Essences strawberry shampoo, or the steamy water that made me remember a thought that had gone unnoticed until now.

Jace would be at school.

My school.

My eyes almost popped out of my head as I processed this.

_Jace…school…No. No,no,no._

I hadn't seen Jace in over a week, ever since the _incident _at the hospital.

_Calm, Clary. You don't know that he'll be there. Maybe he already left for Idris. That's a possibility. Yeah, no need to worry. He probably hasn't even left the hospital._

Except I knew I should worry. Jace had gone to Montgomery with me before he left for Idris with his family. I knew that if he was back, then he would be here to stay, taking on every aspect possible to annoy me in the process. Even school.

Even if he was still in the hospital, he would be back at some point.

Hopping out of the shower, now more inclined to bundle up under the covers, I made my way to my closet where I quickly chose a baggy red and black plaid long sleeved shirt and high waisted denim shorts.

While waiting for the toast I had driven into the toaster, I quickly brushed through the thick red strands of hair that sat atop my pale, freckly face. Staring back into the green orbs that were my eyes, I questioned myself on what to do.

"Oh, bother." I said. I sounded like Winnie the Pooh. "Screw it. No one, not even _Jace_, is going to drive me out of my insanity."

Pleased with myself, I grabbed my worn leather book bag, caught the toast just as it popped up with a loud _ding!, _put on my black chucks and walked out of the apartment. I was ready.

_Game=on._

* * *

Pulling into the school parking lot, my stomach dropped about ten inches.

No way.

I had convinced myself on the way here that he wouldn't dare to show up. I should have known, though. Only Jace Wayland would recover that quickly and admit himself back into his regular routine. Not a bruise on his face, either. Figures.

I stealthily jumped out of my car and booked it across the school grounds, careful to avoid the front stairs where he had been standing with his "people." Even though he had been gone for over a year, he still managed to have "people" that seemed to stick to him like leaches. God knows why.

I made it to the front office and got my schedule.

Math first. With Mr. Bier, no less. _Great._

Halfway down the hall, just a mere ten steps from my locker, I felt a tap on my shoulder. My whole body went rigid. _Is it Jace?_

My suspicions were denied as I turned around and came face to face with Sebastian Verlac.

_Ugh, forgot about you. _I thought bitterly. Sebastian had taken an interest in me first year and hadn't seemed to stop stalking me up until the end of last year. He had repetitively asked me out, and had resorted to being quite physical with me after he felt he had gotten rejected too many times.

"What do you want, Sebastian?" I spat at him, attempting to manoeuvre myself away from him.

"Hey, Clary. I just was thinking, since it's a new year, and I'm sure we both want to restart this whole relationship between us, why don't you come to Pandemonium with me Friday night?"It didn't sound like I had an option really, so I remained silent and continued to drill holes into him with my eyes.

"Clary? Are you okay?" I didn't say anything.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, looking confused.

"I hate you. Does that seem like a solid answer?" His eyes turned menacing, but I didn't step down.

"Don't make me force you into the date, Clary." He said in a low voice so no one other than me could hear.

"If you feel like I'm making you do something, feel free to tell me. You can put it into the complaint box along with everyone else." He only shook his head and brushed past me, making sure our shoulders bumped in the process.

On the outside I just shrugged and remained indifferent, but as I walked the rest of the way to my locker, I couldn't help the small goosebumps that formed on the back of my neck.

* * *

I stopped short in the doorway to my math class, my earlier achievement of standing my ground with Sebastian long forgotten.

I couldn't hide the pure terror that boiled in me like soup. Jace was sitting in a desk right beside the _only free seat in the room._ Just. My. Luck.

Robotically, I slid into the desk, sure to keep my head down. He would know who I was instantly though, so there was no point in hiding. Curse my blinding red hair.

I saw that he could see me out of the corner of his eye, but he was putting on a show. Oh so typical.

"Well, what do we have here?" He asked me as I settled my books onto my desk. He laughed scornfully and turned to face me. I looked at him with a look of disdain.

"You know, you're never fully dressed without a smile." He said with a smirk.

"Consider me a nudist." I replied, looking up at the board where the teacher had begun the lesson.

"Oh, please, Clare, no one wants to see that." He turned his nose up and pretended to lean back in his chair as if _he _were the one disgusted in _me._

"I wish you would stop calling me Clare. If you hate me so much, why do you still call me by my nickname? Why not shame, or Clarissa, or _girl_ italicised?"

"Ah! I knew it bothered you!" He retorted. I should have known he would use it to get to me. "So, _Clare," _He snickered. I scowled. "Did you worry about me in the hospital?" He questioned, leaning in as if genuinely curious.

"Hah!" I replied, spitting it in his face. "As if! I'm mentally suffocating those doctors for letting you out! I thought you would be bed ridden for life! Oh, what a happy day that would be." I said dreamily, reminiscing in my own fantasies.

"Clary! Jace! If you're done with all of the flirting, can we please get back to the lesson?" Mr. Bier snapped. My mouth hung open in shock.

"Sorry, Mr. B," Jace started. _Oh, Lord…_ "Clary is just so sexually frustrated with me and couldn't keep her hands off. I'll try to calm her next time, sir." The whole class burst out laughing while looked like he was a deer caught in headlights.

"Back to the lesson, class!" He shouted, composing himself. He still seemed a little red.

I turned to Jace and stared at him in shock.

"Next time, don't openly make a fool out of yourself." He winked and returned to the lesson like that exchange had never even happened.

"Burn in hellfire."

* * *

I returned to my apartment beaten down and tired. My day had gone just _peachy _what with the fact that Sebastian _and _Jace seemed to be toying with me. Naturally, word had gotten around that Simon had….was gone and so for the rest of the day I had to live with the constant reminder that I was alone without him or Izzy.

I dropped my stuff on my dusty brown couch and threw myself onto my bed like a sack of potatoes.

Letting out a few frustrated tears, I pondered what the rest of the year would be like.

I wondered if I would have to do any group work with Jace, or if I would have to go out on a date with Sebastian by force. I wondered what prom would be like. Would I get a bucket of pigs blood dumped on me like in Carrie? Would anyone even ask me to prom? _Obviously._ I thought bitterly. _Sebastian. _I shivered at the thought. Me and Sebastian. How comical.

This was definitely going to be an interesting year.

* * *

Later that night, a woman in her late forties rifled through her mail for anything worth reading. Halfway through, she came across one that made her whole body tense and her face pale considerably.

"No." She breathed in a heavy European accent. "It cannot be."

Quickly dialling the phone number that was still fresh in her memory, even to this day, she paced around the room frantically.

"Hello?" The person on the other end of the line spoke softly.

"We have a problem, child." She spoke quickly, her eyes darting around the room in fear.

"Who's speaking?" The woman decided to ignore her question, instead, bringing up the one topic that sent shivers down the receiver's spine.

"_They are coming."_

_**The Angel of Forgiveness**_

_**Beckons me dearly.**_

_**Says to start again**_

_**I see it quite clearly:**_

_**Forgive the one who is blind**_

_**For the sins they have made.**_

_**Never look back on the past**_

_**That cuts like their blade. **_

**Woah, the end of that reminded me of the ending to City of Lost Souls…thanks again to Serenity Shadowstar for the amazing idea that enticed me to get up off my rear end and stab my writer's block right in the chest.**

**Please review! If you do….I'll….I'll give you a mental hug of happiness! That doesn't happen often, let me tell you. Hugs I give are usually just hugs of anger…around one's neck….with my hands…**

**Love and Axes,**

**CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4**


End file.
